Hi, my name is Tomomi.

It took a couple of uncomfortable days to stop feeling unsettled. I’m now sleeping as much as I want (a lot, and it’s not just the jet lag) and sinking into quiet time to read and re-connect with family. I also found a great online deal on a second-hand Brompton bike. I’m really looking forward to learning its ins and outs, riding in Tokyo and bringing it back with me to Paris.

Looking back, my bike-buying process was a mess. A few months ago, I did a ton of research and decided I wanted one and then… I didn’t take the step of buying it. And what happened was like a car stuck in the parking lot with its engine left on. I didn’t drive out and I didn’t turn off the engine, so I just kept using up gas.

A series of events this spring/summer, both pandemic-induced and not, caused an ongoing state of upheaval that really depleted my confidence tank. One of the consequences was not being able to make decisions or take action after I’d made them. Rendering choices through action, no matter how small, generates energy and I haven’t been able to do enough of it in the past few months. The bicycle is one of the simpler examples.

This insight had the power to knock me out of my recent malaise and feeling of helplessness after realizing that 2021 will look quite similar to 2020 in terms of corona risks and constraints. I’m glad for it, and it probably wasn’t a coincidence that these thoughts came while journaling on the riverside, feeling the winter sun and enjoying a cup of hot tea from my trusty thermos.

It’s been a limbo week, as many people around me wrap up for the holidays, and I ignore my upcoming Tokyo trip like it’s not happening. I’m off to the airport in a few hours, though.

France and Europe in general is not doing well with the second wave and all signs point to Christmas bringing another harsh period. I’m slowly trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we’ll probably be in this lockdown or curfew state for at least the first half of 2021.

And even though I’ve felt distracted and float-y, there were significant happenings and it’s grounding to be able to capture them here.

• Kicked off a client assignment with my friend Alex that we’re really excited about. I’m so glad this is the project that we’ll hit the ground running with next year.
• Worked on a RFP response with a new set of collaborators. I’m honored to be invited to take part and it’s been a fun process. If we land the assignment, it’ll be a significant marker in my journey as a designer, as it’ll open up a new field of opportunities outside of the realm of my usual corporate consulting. And if we don’t, I’m sure something else will come up!
• Got tested for Covid for the first time. It was an antigen test at the pharmacy down the street and I found it a straightforward process that brought a lot of peace of mind.
• Wrapped up a book club series for Bruce Mau’s MC24. We were enthralled with our discussions and spent three sessions on this book, extending our time together beyond the initial one-off call that I’d organized. We decided to chose another book and continue with our calls and I’m very glad about that.
• Good progress building an upcoming facilitation course that I’m hosting with three friends from next February. This was a beautiful flower that bloomed unexpectedly among the difficulties of the pandemic and I’m still pinching myself that it’s really happening.
• Signed up for a personal/leadership development course for next spring, with the possibility to extend it into getting trained and certified as a coach if things gel. It’s quite a big commitment but I’m ready to take this step.
• Finale of Mandalorian 😉 I’m not particularly invested in the story but it was fun to have a weekly story that we discuss with friends. Haven’t had that since hosting weekly watch parties for GoT last year.

Against the odds, a few saplings have started to sprout for next year. I appreciate the little bubbles of happy to play with, during these days when it’s so hard to sustain excitement or any kind of focus.

I set up a new Roam database to start my “digital garden” in earnest, and have been having a blast writing and linking nodes of thought. It’s like having a blank canvas that only takes a tap to wipe clear or break off into new sections. I didn’t think the near-zero cost would make such a difference but this is addictive! Figuring out the bi-directional links digitally helps so much to make the links in my thinking. The Roam site is private as I prototype form and workflows but I’d like to make it accessible soon.

The other highlight of this week was that the confinement rules have been alleviated so that we can exercise out to 20km for three hours, instead of 1km for one. I’m so glad to be able to properly cycle again - relieved, too. There were plenty of people out on the cycling paths. I’d have liked to say everyone was in good spirits but well, a couple of entitled old farts were annoyed at how crowded it was. Too bad they can’t direct their opinions to policy makers so we get more space for cyclists in general. Anyway we had wonderful weather and I’m going to get a few more long rides in the cold sunny weather before winter sets in.

Interesting conversations

• Why organizations aren’t set up to scan the landscape they operate in, why people don’t have basic skills and habits to do it, and how library science could evolve to fill that void
• The distinction between collaboration and coordination (ran a workshop on this topic with my Liberating Structures practice group)
• The potential of Twitch as a community building platform outside of games and music
• Why it’s so difficult for us to do things purely for ourselves, even when the resources are accessible
• The psychology of flow (participated in an Interintellect salon for the first time)
• The constraints of public administrative content and how they wrestle with private sites who fill the gap but add confusion by not maintaining the advice (another great chat thanks to the ResearchOps Pair Connect program)
• What is a headless CMS (Marion is helping me rebuild my website with Strapi and Vue.js)

Finally got this out the door - “On mentorship as a vector for growth. The editing process was a steep learning curve, the good kind of painful, and I’m proud of how it turned out. We have a ways to go to engage a broader audience but I think we’re onto a rich line of inquiry.

I spent Friday and Saturday attending Intersection conference, which I hope to write about later.

I decides to start running as the best option for exercise within the confinement restrictions, and managed to do it four days out of seven. I don’t particularly enjoy running but it’s a low friction activity considering I already own the gear, have experience training and live next to a nice course. We’ve had a few days of autumn weather (still!) and it’s been lovely to be outside.

I also made strides in my writing, thanks to the gifts of Writer’s Hour and comprehensive feedback from friends on early drafts. I’m learning so much about the writing process.

And in the backdrop of all of that has been the US election. Congratulations to all the Americans who fought the good fight. I went from being scared that the race would go the wrong way, to incredulous that it could be so tight, to sheer relief with some joy, and now mostly concerned about the amount of difficult work ahead.

My new winter cycling jacket arrived in the mail the first morning of our second national confinement. Like a bad joke, like a slap in the face, a promise held in both hands before it was snatched away… but the reality is that the pandemic continues to rage. France is leading the way in spring-like measures being rolled out across Europe, with people casting a weary eye towards the winter holidays. Most of us have enough friends who’ve gotten Covid in the past few weeks for the deterioration to have hit home.

We had a bit of a last hurrah and are now hunkered down once more, trying to swallow the disappointment and drudgingly seeking ways to make the most out of the situation. The sense of déjà vu is tough.

Last chance for a long while to see the forest -

On Tuesday, I delivered a 40min talk titled “Learning as a social practice: ideas to increase our range for growth” for Namahn’s Lecture series. I’d been working on shifting my public speaking to be sharing original thinking that was not anchored in a specific methodology or project, so tackling an abstract topic like learning was a milestone. The talk was quite a hard birth. The preparation took a lot longer than usual, from finding a coherent narrative to pulling together material. I’m pleased with the end result and overall response. I added a Mad Tea activity (aka Chatterfall) to the webinar-format for the audience to share sense-making and reflection, which doubles as an in-situ moment for me to get a sense of how people interpreted the main points and what they’d be able to take into their own work. Not sure where I’ll take this body of work myself - perhaps that could have been one of the questions.

Wednesday is my mid-week rest day, space made for important-but-not-urgent activities or de-stressing big tasks like cleaning out my old apartment. (ref Week 34) This week, I had a meandering call with a dear friend who’s going through a period of regeneration. And then I cooked fish as nitsuke(simmered) for the first time, garnished with oyster mushrooms that I’d grown in the living room. And ended with a session with my Liberating Structures practice group. We are starting to gel and it is a beautiful thing.

Speaking of which, I moved my Liberating Structures Fieldnotes out of stealth mode, promoting it a bit on Twitter and LinkedIn. It’s cool to see interest from different people, especially from those whom I wouldn’t have associated with an active interest in facilitation. I’m quite proud of this little series - if anything, my future self will benefit from good notes! - and want to develop this kind of writing practice as a key activity.

Last but not least, Marion and I turned our idea for regular weekend retreats into a long-awaited reality. It’s to be the first of many and I’m writing this post from a tiny village near Chantilly, enjoying the stillness and a full belly.

We’re living with a 9pm-6am curfew in Paris now, which I imagine to be another 2020 first for many of us. It’s restrictive but so much lighter than the spring lockdown. Let’s see how it goes.